I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
