I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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