im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
