I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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