So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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