I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
