i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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