Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
