I'm so fucking centered right now
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
