She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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