Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
