I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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