babies were throwing up all over the place
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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