wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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