Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize