i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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