in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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