My hair reeks of homosexuality.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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