well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
