Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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