Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
