He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
