Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
