I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
