I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.