If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
smell my finger.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.