I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
