best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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