I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
