So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
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So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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