people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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