Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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