I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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