Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He passed out mid-signature
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
