honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just invented taco cereal.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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