The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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