Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
