maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
