haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
