I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
