What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize