I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize