I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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