I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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