3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
