Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
