I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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