This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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