Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
