pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
