Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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