I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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