I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
