First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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