Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
