dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
