she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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