dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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