I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
