before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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